Well here I am yet again.  Unable to sleep.  It's 5:18 am and I haven't been to bed, as usual.  I hate this!  Insomnia is just the worst thing in the world I think!  I need to talk to doc about getting me on some sleeping pills or somthing.  I can't keep staying up like this.  It's certainly not healthy!  I've just got sooo much anxiety I can't get rid of it.  Maybe I need some happy pills too.  I just worry constantly about everything!!  When I first met Jay, I used to tease him mom because she worried about the stupidist stuff.  I mean this woman would worry that the sky was gonna fall tomorrow.  Now I'm doing the exact same thing!  I mean I don't worry about that specificaly but I worry enough for all of us!

     I've been thinking about purchasing this book called, "The Secret".  It's supposed to guide you to the path of living a more positive life.  It says that if you live and think positively that positive things will happen to you.  Basicaly that we give off negative energy into the universe when all we ever think is negative thoughts.  If we trade negative thoughts for positive ones, we will recieve positive energy back from the universe.  If nothing else it should make for a damned interesting read!  I'm also going to buy this book called, "The Weight Loss Cure".  I figure it's at least worth a look.  If nothing else I'm building up a nice collection of books right? LOL!

     We go pick Alex up later on this evening.  Got lots to do before then, that's for sure!  We have to go to Columbia so I can get my hair and nails done before Saturday night.  Jay and I decided not to go out because I'm not entirely comfortable leaving BOTH of my kids at his parents house.  I know he was thinking that they could stay the night there, and I'm just not comfortable with that yet.  He told me that was fine when I asked him about it.  He did, however, want to know if we could leave them there long enough for him to at least take me out for a drink.  I said that was cool.  Just for a little bit though.  I'm not going to be driving home three sheets to the wind with my babies in the car!  I don't do that period but I won't even get in the car tipsy with them!  I told Jay we could pick up a bottle of Baileys and bring it home with us anyhow!  Maybe his bro would want to come have a few with us at our house.  I've been wanting to try that Baileys Mint Chocolate anyway!  Sounds devine!

     Not sure how I feel about being yet another year older.  We shall see if my mother actually remembers to send me a bday card this year.  She hasn't sent me one since I moved out when I was 14.  Kinda sad to think it's been over 10 years now!  It just hit me tonight when Jay asked if she had our address to send me one.  I guess some parents probably stop getting their kids shit when they reach my age.  I know I'll never stop getting my kids at least a bday card if nothing else!  I would never want them to think that I had forgotten the day the world became a brighter place for me and their dad!  Alexs 5th is fast approaching us!  We got to talking about the holidays tonight and where we planned on spending them.  We decided to have turkey day here at our house and invite everyone.  I hate having that particular holiday here because I hate making the turkey!  But I'm getting all kinds of cool shit for my bday in regards to the kitchen and cooking so I think I might just enjoy it!  Now I'll really be buggin for the mail man to get here everyday because I know he'll be bringing me some more goodies! LMAO!

     Well bloggers, I guess I'll take my ass out and watch some TV or something.  That always manages to put me to sleep.  THAT'S IT!!  I'll just skip the sleeping pills and buy a tv for the bedroom! LOL!  Hey it could work!  I'll talk to ya'll later!  Hope ya'll are having an excellent week!